Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

(Art print by Tristan Nohrer)

Experts say most people take seven seconds to judge another person when they first meet them. It’s not a conscious process, so you might not even realise you’re doing it. Judging other people in the first few seconds of meeting them is part of our survival response. So, although we might understand that it’s a flawed and a prejudiced way of evaluation, we can’t stop ourselves from doing it.

Matchmaking Services experts comment, they often see people unconsciously assess others based purely on their physical exterior. This comes through in a conscious decision to decline to meet someone based on “No attraction”. They are judging purely on what the person looks like, rather than considering other compatibility factors such as interests, likes and dislikes, personality, type of work, lifestyle, education, future goals, values and views on areas like religion, children, smoking and drinking. When you judge someone based on attraction alone, sure, there may be some initial chemistry and sparks, but in most cases that fades away once the glow has worn off.

You can start to avoid passing judgement by monitoring your thoughts. Be conscious of what you are thinking about and pay more attention to steering yourself in an open and positive direction. Be happy, say something nice to everyone you meet and remember to smile. Be courteous and respectful, you never know where a new friendship might go.

It won’t be easy, but stop judging yourself and others. Focusing on the positive aspects of yourself and your life will make it easier to focus on the positive aspects of others.

Don't put so much focus and attention on what people are wearing and doing but rather focus on learning about ‘who’ the person is, what they’re passionate about, how they spend their free time, what their plans are for the future. Think about your own life and how this person might fit in.

Think about how many times you’ve judged a book by his or her cover, and been wrong? Imagine how many potential friends, new connections and possible relationships you could have made, had you just been a little more open minded and less judgemental.

And finally, remember how it feels to be judged - remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn't feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now.


You can’t control what others do and feel, but you can control your own thoughts and judgements. Being kind to others will only serve to create happiness around you. Choose to express positivity and take action on it. There are no guarantees in life, but it just might be life-changing.

If you judge a book by its cover, you might miss out on writing your own amazing story