Hilarious List of a Victoria Officer's "Don't do at a Road Check"

A Victoria police officer has released his list of the top 10 worst things to do while stopped at a police roadblock.

Constable Graeme Leblanc says the list is based on real life experience and are events that he witnessed for himself. The Stories From the Street was posted to the police department’s blog and contain some pretty surprising instances.

10 Things You Shouldn’t do at Road Checks:

Drive up with a crack pipe in one hand and a lighter in the other, while you have crack and heroin in your pocket – 14-14130

U-turn prior to a roadblock and flee from police, get caught and end up providing breath samples of 0.26 and 0.27, that’s over 3 times the legal limit. File: 14-197

Pretend you can’t see the officer or the roadblock and drive through without stopping, then flee from police, get caught and end up providing breath samples of .08 and .07. IRSU File 13-16

Have a beer in your hand as you’re driving up to the roadblock. When confronted by the officer, put the beer in the center console and deny any knowledge.

As you are driving up to a police roadblock, forget to stop, smash into the vehicle in front of you at 50 km/h, pushing that car into a third vehicle. This all happens because you are so hammered you have trouble walking. Police have to physically remove you from the vehicle and place you into the police car. Pretend you can’t speak English. Refuse to provide a breath sample, blah, blah, blah. IRSU File: 12-190

As you approach the roadblock, use your truck to do the Dukes of Hazzard over the center median. Dump your vehicle and flee from police. Do all of this cause you are impaired and breaching your bail conditions. IRSU File: 12-358

Drive up to a police roadblock when you are a prohibited driver from a previous impaired driving charge. Unfortunately, the same officer that dealt with you for the first impaired is the one to speak to you at the roadblock and recognizes you as a prohibited driver. Watch as your wife (with a valid license) and your two kids leave on foot to walk the rest of the way home. Make a sad face to the police officer as your Audi A4 gets impounded for 60 days. IRSU file 11-701

Drive up to a police roadblock while the woman in the back seat, who is not your wife, tries desperately to put her pants back on. The car reeks of fresh marihuana. When the officer opens the driver’s door, your baggie of coke can be seen in the door’s map pocket. In addition to the cocaine, you also have one and a half pounds of marihuana and half a pound of hash in the car too. IRSU File: 13-513

Drive up and stop short 50 meters short of a police roadblock. Trade places with the driver because he is drunk and doesn’t have a license because of his previous impaired charges. Get arrested for impaired driving yourself. Change your mind and provide a written statement to the police so that you can get your (now) ex-boyfriend charged as well. You blow 0.10, then 0.09 and your ex blows 0.12 and 0.11. Two impaired drivers from one vehicle. IRSU file 09-96

As you’re speaking to the officer, she notes a smell of fresh marihuana coming from the vehicle. You’re arrested and when the vehicle is searched, police find a small amount of marihuana and just under $24,000 in cash in a backpack. The money is the profits from selling drugs. All the money is forfeited to Revenue Canada for unpaid back taxes. IRSU file 09-718