We all love Kelowna. It’s a ‘bumping’ city that is fast becoming the tech center of BC. We have a great hockey team, fantastic landscape and a mayor that dresses in drag to celebrate gay pride. Our city is an eccentric oddball unlike any other. And gosh darn it, we do love it so!
Living in our eccentric oddball of a city has a few struggles that only we understand. At KelownaNow, we’ve compiled a couple of experiences and thought processes only those who hail from K-town will understand.
Rumours have swept across the nation. Rumours suggesting that an unholy hybrid exists and it’s nestled in the Okanagan Valley. It’s not the Ogopogo, it’s the rare and infuriating hybrid between a major city road and traffic lights.
Sitting at a red light is a universal experience. Sitting impatiently at a red light in the dead of night when there’s absolutely no traffic, on a major road that connects an entire city, is a Kelowna experience
“I could totally just go. There’s no one around. It won’t hurt anyone,” is a concerningly familiar thought process of many K-townies.
Frodo, Sam and the entire Orc slaying fellowship of the ring have nothing on the brave soul who ventures into Orchard Park on a Saturday afternoon.
What started out as an innocent errand to grab a toothbrush or a pair of socks quickly becomes a twisted excursion where only a sense of will keeps one from losing sight of everything that makes them a civilized human being.
It doesn’t matter which side of Kelowna’s civil war you fight on, this affects us all.
Whether you’re a cyclist terrified and dwarfed by the automobiles which violently pass you or a driver infuriated by the cyclist identity crisis*, we all know this struggle.
*The Cyclist Identity Crisis is a phenomenon whereby cyclists cannot decide whether they’re pedestrians or cars. The symptoms include running red lights and riding on sidewalks all while demanding space on the road.
It’s a Sunday afternoon and you’ve scheduled a much-anticipated dinner with a group of friends. You’re looking forward to sharing Becky’s delicious secret, sipping some signature Okanagan wine while overlooking the lake from the patio of a downtown restaurant.
Yet danger awaits. In your excitement to spill some juicy gossip, you’ve violated one of Kelowna’s most sacred laws: never drive downtown during a Rockets game.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged, that there is a direct correlation between the amount of time you spend looking for parking and your animosity for ‘Impark Pay Parking’.
Kelowna has a thin strip of metal and tarmac that spans over the Okanagan Lake. This ‘strip’ connects Kelowna to West Kelowna. Everyday, over 50,000 thousand cars file into this bridge travelling faster than 60 km/hr.
In other words, the struggle is real.
When it comes to Albertan drivers, a fair judicial process is thrown out of the window. It doesn’t matter whether they completely violated our clearly understood Kelowna road rules, or were in their rights to merge into our unoccupied space, one rule applies: thou shalt blame the red plate.
There’s certainly a myriad of infuriating Kelowna experiences we can all testify too. Of course, there’s plenty more experiences we adore. Because of experiences, like tubing and midnight pizza, we all call Kelowna home.
But what if we could call Kelowna home while still escaping the infuriating experiences? Does a land exist where commuting across the bridge, venturing into Orchard Park or dining downtown during Rockets season is a thing of the past?
At The Village of Kettle Valley, visitors and residents have everything at their fingertips, from socks and toothpaste to lovely restaurants. You’ll never need to try the bridge during rush hour again. It’s also close enough that you don’t have to sacrifice your favorite parts of Kelowna. Also, we’ve heard rumours that there is a cease-fire between cyclists and drivers!
To learn more about getting away from the hustle and bustle by visiting Kettle Valley’s stunning landscape, multiple parks, and various amenities, you can always visit their website or take a stroll up there yourself.
With its beautifully landscaped streets, picture-perfect parks, lovely homes and jaw-dropping views, Kettle Valley is a must-visit for those looking for a place to call home or just a place for a picnic and Instagram photo opp. To learn more about Kettle Valley and their new lots and home options, visit KettleValley.com.
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