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Ask Ada: Social Media Break

We all are guilty of spending too much time on our phones and devices - parents, teenagers and children. As adults we can recognize the consequences of our actions on our health and adjust accordingly, but our children and teenagers aren’t quite there yet. That’s why they still need us as parents to "parent” them and help set some guidelines and boundaries; this applies to all areas including technology.

A parent asked me:

“Both my daughters are glued to their phones, and I think it’s starting to affect their health. They are staying up late texting and scrolling through social media, and talking with their friends. I’ve noticed that they are groggy, and irritable when we chat in the mornings having breakfast.” She then mentioned, “I knew summer time would likely be more difficult because my kids would have more time to spend on their phones, but I’m worried that with school starting soon their habits won’t change and it will get worse. What do you think I should do?"

This is a great question, and one that I have personally struggled with. My teenager has gone through the same thing. There was a point where I was starting to notice that my bright vibrant girl was dragging her feet in the morning, she was irritable and antisocial on our rides to school. Eventually enough was enough. I decided that as a family we would do a bit of a social experiment.

I took the phone away for a week.

For one week my teenage daughter had to figure out how to navigate the world without a personal cell phone. One week of having to borrow my phone in order to text her friends, all while I stood peering over her shoulder ready to take the phone back once plans had been made.

My daughter had to make her summer plans without a phone to message her friends to find out where they were and what they were doing, or a phone to distract her by watching videos during the day (the horror). I won’t lie, the first couple of days were awful. She hated me.

All I heard was how much harder it was to communicate with friends, how she was missing out on everything because she couldn’t see things posted on Instagram. I wanted to give up, just so I would stop hearing about how miserable I had made her life, but I didn’t. I stuck to my guns and kept on pushing through and by day four a miracle happened.

Then one morning, my daughter had a conversation with me over breakfast. Something that hadn’t happened in who knows how long. By day 5 she admitted to how she was spending more time with friends in person, and admitted to being less tired. By day seven, before I gave her back her phone, I asked how she felt having just spent a week of phone detox. Her response? Happier, closer to her friends, and more energized.

As it turns out by taking the cell phone away, her friends had to work harder to communicate with her, which in turn made her realize the importance of those friendships. By not being on her phone late into the evening while lying awake in bed, she was sleeping better, which made her more energized during the day.

By not having social media to compare herself to others, she was feeling happier about herself. The result was an awakening for my daughter, she now makes an effort to be on social media less and to talk to her friends face to face.

We were so pleased with the results of the experiment that now as a whole family we plan to do the same thing in regular intervals. I also now recommend this experiment for anyone and everyone. We all need a detox from our phones. Being hyper connected at all times takes its toll on us and our kids.

Now this might seem like a radical idea. You might have your children yelling and screaming at you about how you’ve “ruined their lives,” but it isn’t a radical idea at all. Look at Tim Cook, the CEO of apple, who keeps his nephew off of social media, or the cofounder of twitter to Steve Jobs - these tech giants all limit how much tech their children use. If the people who create this tech empires limit their childrens' use why aren’t we?

So the long answer to the question: just take the phone away, see what happens.

If you are seeking advice in the world of tech and how it affects you and your family, we encourage you to send an email to Askada@mazufamily.com and we will do our best to provide practical, insightful advice.

Janice Taylor is a social entrepreneur, mother, speaker, author and online safety advocate. Her credo of compassion, community, and caring drives the vision of her company Mazu, a safe and fun online platform for families. Mazu gives parents a place to communicate, play and connect with their children in a safe engagement environment.



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